Let’s face it: Everything sucks and the world is going to hell in a handbasket. In these trying times, there’s nothing left to do but abandon your current life and become a human Hot Pocket. Hot Pockets don’t have to worry about making rent, paying taxes, or the looming threat of nuclear war. Hot Pockets don’t have to worry about anything—their warm and toasty existence is something we should all aspire to.   

Thank goodness, you can buy this sleeping bag to make your transformation as painless as possible.

The $80 bag, available from ThinkGeek, features a custom “MicroWaav” insulation system.

“During your next camping trip or marathon gaming session, this Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag will keep you warm and cozy,” the product description reads. “After the initial 2 minute period to reach maximum internal temperature, the integrated crisping sleeve allows for maximum warmth retention. Our custom MicroWaav insulation system ensures your extremities are always toasty while your core stays nice and cool. It’s perfect for backpacking, camping, or couchsurfing.”

Not sold? Watch this amazing 45-second ad featuring real people living the enviable Hot Pocket lifestyle.


Buy it here.

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