By now, you’ve already been inundated with Christmas products. Most holiday launches feature your usual, run-of-the-mill peppermint and gingerbread flavors, but it would seem that’s not how sausage company Jimmy Dean does things.
For the second year in a row, the purveyor of breakfast sausage has opened its very own holiday gift store to sell you some of the most bizarre, savory stocking stuffers you could possibly imagine via their Recipe Gift Exchange.
Sausage-flavored wrapping paper, the perfect way to mislead gift recipients and scare your vegan aunt, has returned for another year. But otherwise, 2019’s offerings are a bit different. Among the new gifts are standards like a pair of socks (wouldn’t be a disappointing Christmas without them!) and a glass sausage ornament. Things get a bit weirder with the “cowboy slipper boots” with a built-in faux spur, and the “sweet ‘n savory lip balm” that’ll have your moist lips smelling like sausage and maple syrup all winter long.
But the sausage-flavored candy canes are the proverbial star on top of the tree. These “scrumptious swirls of sweet, sausagey-y stripes” feature a taste of maple alongside the saltiness of sausage for one completely unsettling christmas confection. If you were worried about what might be in the box of mystery candy canes that recently surfaced, Jimmy Dean is here to remind you that it could always be worse.
What’s also remarkable about Jimmy Dean’s Recipe Gift Exchange is that it’s (probably) the only place where you can pay for your Christmas gifts with photos of sausage. Really though: you just have to follow a recipe they’ve listed on the site, cook it, upload the photo, and choose your limited-edition “gift” while supplies last.
So instead of buying your relatives actual sausage that will expire by Christmas, opt for these truly grotesque sausage candy canes. At the very least, it’ll help them realize that whatever amount of money they spent on your gift was probably too much.
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