It’s October, which means you now have official permission to consume pumpkin spice-flavored things without feeling weird about it. Still, there are certain foods and drinks that push the pumpkin spice envelope a bit too far, and you frankly should  feel at least a little bit self-conscious about enjoying them. 

For a time, it seemed like pumpkin spice-flavored hard seltzer would be 2020’s most egregious example of the increasingly tired fall trend. However,  it brings me no pleasure to report that we have a new leader in the clubhouse thanks to Honey Baked Ham. Behold: the Pumpkin Spice Glazed Turkey Breast. 


According to a very real page on the Honey Baked website, this turkey features  “the perfect combination of aromatic spices that create a pumpkin spice glaze that will give you the taste of fall.” If the video posted by the brand is any indication, it looks like this special seasonal glaze features cinnamon and nutmeg, not to mention “autumn vibes.” Hopefully those leaves and a scarf didn’t actually end up in there because I don’t think anyone wants to eat that.

Whether due to morbid curiosity or a genuine desire to get your hands on a fall-themed turkey, it’s worth pointing out that the Pumpkin Spice Glazed Turkey Breast will only be available at select locations across the country for a limited time, starting October 2nd and running through October 31st. For a full list of where you can go and gawk at this thing, you’ll find it on Honey Baked’s site.

Does the world need pumpkin spiced turkey? Probably not. Still, if you’re looking for new ways to disappoint your loved ones on Thanksgiving, pick one of these up before the end of October and throw it in your freezer for a few weeks. Who knows, maybe it’s just crazy enough to actually work. 

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